An Ode to my Friend and time at ICERM

I learned today

• One of the original sailing buddies, my Jeannea, passed away about a week ago. Let me tell you; this woman was such a bad@$$!
• I want to take a few sentences to write a tribute to her, as I remember her.
• I knew if she was sailing, I always had a spot on her boat, and she encouraged me to be the best that I could be, which can be sometimes difficult in a town like Los Angeles, where you are constantly ground down and undervalued. She was determined to make me feel included, make me learn how to sail, and she thought constantly about how to include me on journeys I would have never imagined, like that of sailing to Long Beach and then to Newport beach for the Women’s Sailing Convention, or to Catalina, or to go whale watching. I remember the one time we went whale watching and I was so excited; it was my first time, but we didn’t see a single whale. Then, I decided to go below the deck to use the restroom, and when I came out, I heard shouting! She looked at me and said “thank you!” and then continued “we just saw a humpback”. And I was like “noooooo” and it was hilarious, but I eventually did see a whale. It was always a fun time whenever she was around.
• Sailing with her made me a more confident person, more aware of my worth, and taught me a lot of life-skills. She was a true mentor to me, and really invested a lot in making those of us lucky enough to be included on her boat succeed. She really took the time to get to know you, understand you, and she was really someone who loved life, loved her children and her husband; she didn’t hold any toxicity or anything like that, which was wonderful. She really treated me with dignity and I appreciated that so much.
• I also loved that she was feminine without being a “girly-girl”; when I was growing up, I related most to Jo from Little Women, as a fellow tomboy, and I found my home with Jeannea because she reminded me that it was okay to like taking things apart, doing technical stuff and having your hands elbow-deep in fixing a diesel engine, replacing o-rings and even climbing masts. I needed that, because it’s closer to who I am, and her sincerity of identity really strengthened me. Sailing was also grounding for me in a time when there was a lot of uncertainty (i.e. what’s next? I knew I didn’t want to continue in the industry because I had grown bored of my opportunities for advancement, and not knowing whether I would gain permanent residency after a long road of following the due process). To this day, water is still grounding for me; last week, going kayaking brought me back, at least for a little bit. It was my first time, but almost immediately it brought me back to that grounded feeling, and I was one of the first to enter the water in our group, and one of the last to leave. I guess wherever I move to next, I will have to find some kind of opportunity to continue that (either the place has to have kayaking or something like that)).
• When I saw her state after her recovery from cancer, and how she still found a way to sail even after her surgery, I got a bit teary-eyed. There was something so beautiful and fearless about her, and it inspired me so much, and I will remember that forever!
• I have so many positive memories of her, and I remember how much she just valued me as intelligent and talented, and how she sought to remind me of my value constantly. She was like a third grandmother to me, and I will miss her SO much! However, I know that wherever she is, she is lighting up that space, as she always did! I know she will bring Pinot Grigio with her, as that was her favourite wine, and that was all she ever requested if you wanted to bring something to day sail with her!

The lovely Jeannea

• An article about her recovery after surgery.

Jeannea’s last message to me

I’m at ICERM this week

• It’s been fun; the workshop has been wonderful and people have been quite nice!
• I’m going to be real; I am not the biggest fan of the Northeast (or its food), in particular New England, but the workshop and the people have been so worth it for me!
• Every day the people here have gone out of their way to make me feel included, and that is super nice considering that sometimes people also have working lunches and that sort of thing (for collaborators from different countries, for whom this conference is one of the first times in a while they have met in person). So every day, I have gone out to lunch or dinner or both with various persons, gone out for chai in the afternoon, had conversations and laughed with various persons, and it is just a nice group!
• I had the strange incident of being assigned room 404 (which is hilarious), and also went to a rice bowl place and was recognized as someone else (apparently there is someone at Brown who looks like me who frequents the place), and today some of the mathematicians even decided to go crash an MBA pitch night for free sushi, which was pretty hilarious. A couple of us just ended up trying a vegan place instead. And the night before, some of us went to a Peruvian / Bolivian food place.
• I have even been invited to a conference next year, which I am planning on attending and at least trying to submit a paper for that, too! So things have been really great in that sense.

How I’m feeling

• I still struggle to go to sleep before midnight, but I’ve also been getting work done for some research projects and doing some homework for a class I’m taking online, as well as prepping for some upcoming stuff. I have been hearing about the situation in the state within which I live from afar; my own journey was only affected by a one-day delay, and even then, they were nice enough to bump me up a flying class, which was nice because it meant I got my bag pretty early.

Here are some photos of RI!

• Hibiscus Lavender something?

• Goat cheese tacos

• 3D printed topology. There are a fair amount of knots too that are cast into jewellery in the display.

• Portobello mushroom and calamari

• The capital building. There is a pretty large DR community here, so I guess I’m Blatino here again.

One last thing

• Remember the Math Commune I was talking about building (that has constantly been on my mind!?). Apparently it exists in Turkey! I met someone who will also be going there to do Mathematics for a bit, too (who is a bit of an anarchist mathematician and thinks we should not be chasing jobs, but rather just building institutes to do Mathematics we love, which is fine by me!).
• So I’m excited to hear what thoughts they have when they return on the place. I understand that systems are systems and organizations, no matter how well-intentioned still have inherent structures, but I still have hope for positive and collaborative spaces to do Mathematics that encourage deep thinking, play, collaboration and innovation. So we’ll see.

And That’s it!