Saturday June 25th
Celebrity Birds and Meandering Paths
This week was awesome
- I had a great week; I’m about to do a meditation seminar in which we were asked when we will be happy, or what do we need to be happy? I honestly couldn’t think of anything. In my current state, with my past week, and especially new friends from all my experiences this summer, I am. There is nothing I can think about at the moment, except besides some sushi, when the sushi place opens :)
- I’m literally having the time of my life, and I am very happy and grateful. My mind is clear, and focused, and I have felt so respected, seen, and loved here.
- I was talking with a fellow grad student who told me about how happy they were this week, too, and I couldn’t help but just feel so happy to be a part of that, and to have a new friend. Once again, I have a partner in crime; we hang out together and I went to help her take some photos for her school; she is fortunate to be at a school that will celebrate her achievements this summer, and I enjoyed being a part of helping her do that. These past few weeks, I have had experienced so much joy just being part of healthier, lovely communities that share my interests.
- I’ve been listening to a lot of Illenium these days, and there was one artiste’s collaboration I really enjoyed, and was dismayed (but not surprised, since I did live life over there for many years) to hear that she was struggling, even after having found some success on a television show. To be honest, the article had been written during a low-point in their life, where they felt like a failure for not being “successful” (very common in LA because everyone is measuring themselves by their last success, which makes it harder to appreciate the entire journey of successes), and someone pointed out to them that success is a journey. I understand that the pandemic has affected many artists, too, so I don’t know how things have continued with this person, but when I first heard them, I couldn’t help just repeating their song over and over. I do that with a lot of music, dig deep into the artwork of the album, research lyrics, want to find out what is the last album the sound engineer mixed. In high school, songs would play on music channels and I knew the names of every director of each video, and the geneology of who mixed what, could tell apart their mixing styles just by listening. I guess it’s not a coicidence that I do research now; it’s the perfect mix of creative and technical for my mind.
- In LA, one of my coworkers used to talk about how some of the best musicians (or artists) have been in a lot of pain, and that that is what we respond to in their work, that is what is relatable or what moves us. But they are still stuck with the pain, the emptiness, the dark ball that won’t go away, the struggle in which some days are better than others. On some days, it overshadows even the highs of the journey. Like my friend said, “the film industry doesn’t kick anyone out. People leave when they can’t take the pain of rejection anymore”. The hard part is picking yourself up and continuing.
- I’m thinking about how I walked away from a couple offers last year, and even hearing in one interview an interviewer tell me that he “would have taken the offer” (because big company names cloud our judgment rather than what is the company giving you the opportunity to do?), but that I definitely made the right choice. Not only that, but I’ve been very happy with everything.
- I have mentors, I have friends, I have peers who want to see me succeed, and who are succeeding, too. As someone put it after a session, “I feel hopeful”. I know that there was a time when some people who are distinguished (or not) who made judgments on my ability to succeed or to even be in this field, but to be honest, they don’t matter anymore, because I am doing the thing anyways. Persistence.
I met a bird
- Oh, I met a celebrity this week, and made more new friends. I’m still very busy, as usual, so there is a growing list of persons who have emailed me that I haven’t responded to, and I’m super sorry, but some things have a priority right now, and I’m working on those things first.
Here are some photos
- I have nothing to say besides, I hope you have the courage to go out and live your dream. Despite what exists out there in the world. I hope you find happiness and support. Pay the rest no heed.
And that’s it
Written on June 25, 2022